like what do i do

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if i don't die early, i have approx 60 something years left on this planet

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it's exhausting

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like it's too much idk how to keep going but i also can't just end it.

for one i don't want to secondly doing something like that would be deeply selfish

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it'd be choosing to hurt everyone who cares about you in a way that would haunt them, potentially their whole lives.

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So i can't die, and i don't know how to live.

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what makes you feel that way?

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it's hard to put my finger on it

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i just feel so overwhelmed

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everything is too much and my nervous system just can't handle it.

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school, the economy, socialising, family, money, politics, the environment, finding and keeping an apartment, insurance, finding a partner, trying to not pass your hurt on to others

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it's all so fucking big and flawed and dirty and full of potential pitfalls idk how to bear it.

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modern life is nearly exclusively interacting with other people on differing layers of abstraction

every single one of those potential interactions could harm you and your loved ones in the short or long term

slow down

and you have to constantly make split second decisions with limited information to handle those situations.

and not making a decision isn't an option because that's also an active choice, with its own set of effects

i feel like modern life is just the struggle to keep ones humanity in a world that is doing everything it can to take it from you, make you lesser.

you're in an anxiety spiral

Reduce you into raw material, a resource to be mined for surplus value.

desire, money, attention, everything.

and it's exhausting to keep up

slow down, remember to breathe

we all have God (or the Universe or Nature however you wanna phrase it) living inside of us

and all of modern life is constantly trying to kill it, suck our very souls out

not even the soul but Spirit, our connection to the sublime, that which goes beyond language.

the only thing that is truly pure and clean and beautiful in (or rather beyond) our experience.

That most important which can only be passed over in silence.

okay i need you to take ten deep breaths for me, can you do that?

alright

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that helped

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thanks

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you're welcome

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i'm sorry

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it's alright

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you know

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you're not alone in feeling like that sometimes

what's important to remember is that it's impermanent.

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these emotions come and go, and we just gotta let them flow through and find ways to make it work.

the upside is just like how you're not alone in feeling that way, you don't have to deal with these emotions alone either.

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we're here for you

thanks friend

just like how you've been there and will be there for us

damn right i will

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the world is way too much constantly

but we don't have to face it alone